An Asian man with short, dark hair sits at a laptop with his hand on his head signaling distress. He is wearing glasses and a khaki shirt. The background is blurred, but you can see some shelving behind him. — Stock Photo by Edward Jenner

Let me start by saying that it pisses me off that I even need to write this piece. Ghosting is wrong, in too many contexts, period. During the job search? It's unconscionable.

Ghosting during the job search process happens all the time, and sadly, will continue to. In addition to being completely reasonably upset at its occurrence, as tough as it may be when you've been going through it for a long time, we need to talk about why it happens, and how to manage the mental health impact of it.

The term “ghosting” conjures up big feelings for so many people, and it’s unfortunately become an all-too-common part of the hiring process today.

On one hand, candidates are left with the emotional whiplash of being ignored after investing so much time in cover letters, applications, and interview rounds.
On the other hand, recruiters and employers are juggling overflowing inboxes, legal concerns, and internal bottlenecks.

Let me be clear: this article will not solve this problem. I understand it will bring up many experiences and feelings for people, especially those who have been job hunting for too long. That's why having a constructive conversation about it, from multiple perspectives, is essential - and may help to move the needle.

In this article, I'll address both job seekers and employers. We'll explore why employer ghosting happens and how applicants can protect their mental health if they experience ghosting. Additionally, if you’re part of a hiring team, we’ll discuss ways to communicate more effectively with candidates — not only to make them feel more comfortable during the hiring process but also to highlight why your company should consider the emotional impact of the application experience.

Why Ghosting Has Become So Common in this Job Market

To be clear: most recruiters or hiring managers don’t aim to ruin a job seeker’s day. Many have to balance being a talent scout, negotiator, and career counselor, while also managing the hiring process and pressure from their companies.

Ghosting during the process isn’t cool, but it does happen and often stems from process-related, logistical, or even structurally-related challenges. Here are some common challenges that lead to ghosting in the hiring process:

Volume overload: A single role can bring in hundreds or even thousands of applicants, especially with the influx of AI-generated resumes, but the company’s recruitment process might be disorganized and at capacity. The team (or single recruiter) may be overwhelmed with the response, so they drop the ball.
Fear of saying the wrong thing: Some companies avoid rejections altogether, whether they’re confrontation avoidant or worried that wording could trigger complaints or legal issues.
Human bottlenecks: Recruiters might be juggling several applicants and open roles, managing the interview process, handling requests from several higher-ups, dealing with delayed feedback from hiring managers, or navigating slow approval processes.
Needs change: At any point during the hiring process, a company might undergo budget cuts or hiring freezes, and that role is now no longer available.

These are real challenges. But here’s the truth: silence sends a message too. And for candidates, that message is often taken as, “You don’t matter.”

While it’s helpful to understand why ghosting happens in the job search process, it doesn’t change the negative mental health impact on candidates.

A blonde woman sits at a wooden table with her hands in her hair in front of her laptop. Her cellphone is also on the table. She is wearing a black shirt with a white button down shirt as a layer. — Stock Photo by Yan Krukau

The Mental Health Impact on Job Seekers

Job hunting already ranks as one of life’s most stressful experiences. Research shows that 72% of U.S. job seekers find that the employment process negatively impacts their mental health. That’s before you even add the impact of ghosting. Let's look at the mental health impact of ghosting when you add it to the already stressful process of looking for a job:

It shakes self-efficacy: The brain can interpret being ghosted as a personal failure, undermining your sense of competence and leaving you second-guessing your skills.
It dents self-esteem: Silence can feel personal, even when it’s systemic. The brain fills in the blanks with self-blame. You might then have thoughts like, “I must not be good enough,” when in reality, you were one of dozens, hundreds, or thousands who never heard back.
It disrupts financial and emotional stability: Each unanswered application prolongs uncertainty around income, benefits, and security. Lack of clarity brings more stress when planning your own goals.

Psychologists note that uncertainty — like waiting to hear back after a first or second round interview — is a dominant trigger for stress. Research from UC Davis suggests that ambiguous or unclear results can increase anxiety over time. What starts as feelings of anticipation to hear back about a job opportunity turns into a longer feeling of uncertainty. We feel more vulnerable as time goes on, which then alerts our natural instincts to search for danger or risk. The more time passes, the longer we’re left in this feeling, which instigates stress and wears down our own self-confidence.

Five Ways to Manage the Mental Health Impact of Ghosting

If you’ve been ghosted in the job search process by a company, while this doesn't fix the pain you are experiencing, please remember: you are not the problem. Finding and securing a job, especially in today’s job market, is beyond gruelingly hyper-competitive.

While these strategies cannot guarantee outcomes and you can't control much in the job search process, there are things you can do to take the edge off, especially if you have been or are concerned that you may be getting ghosted:

1. Build Self-Advocacy Muscles

Yes, there is a fine balance of how much to follow-up in the job search process. Sending one too many emails, even if you want to seem enthusiastic, may end up ruffling feathers. However, it doesn't mean that someone who is ignoring you in the job search process shouldn't be held responsible for that behavior. When taking a Radical Candor approach, the goal of a constructive follow-up email is to be professional, direct, and with care. This might look like:

“Hi [Recruiter’s Name], I wanted to follow up on our recent interview. If I’m not moving forward, I’d appreciate clarity for my own growth. I also encourage your team to consider structured updates for candidates — communication makes a big difference.”

2. Use Circles of Control, Influence, and Concern™

When ghosting happens, it’s tempting to spiral into “what-if” land:

“What if I bombed that question?”
“What if my thank-you wasn’t good enough?”
“What if I’m unemployable forever?”

Deep breath. This is where Stephen Covey’s Circles of Control framework from his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People can help. This model will help you decide how to spend your energy where it matters most: on what you can control and influence.

If it’s in your circle of control or influence, act on it. If it’s outside of that, you have to develop the practice of letting it go. And believe me, it is a daily, and sometimes even hourly, practice that takes time to develop. If you focus on what you're concerned about, you’re burning emotional fuel on things you literally cannot change. Here's an example of how to use the model in the job search process and if you're potentially getting ghosted:

Circles of Control:

Inner Circle (Control): Your resume, cover letter, interview prep, and follow-up emails.
Middle Circle (Influence): Your job-search strategy, networking conversations, gentle recruiter nudges, and skill-building that boost your profile.
Outer Circle (No Control): Whether a company replies, an internal budget freeze, or the great mystery of AI resume filters.

3. Challenge ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Cartoon of an anthropomorphic heart pointing to a pile of green “good” rocks saying “Brain, Look!” and trying to get the anthropomorphic brain’s attention as it uses a magnifying glass to focus on a rock labeled “Bad” on the bad. — Cartoon by The Awkward Yeti

Ghosting has a way of waking up your brain’s meanest roommate. You know that one: the inner critic whispering, “You must have failed” or “You’ll never get a job.”

Psychologists call these ANTs or Automatic Negative Thoughts. Left unchecked, they crawl all over your confidence.

The trick? Pivot the ANT with a reframe:

ANT: “I’m not good enough.”
Reframe: “Hiring processes are inconsistent — this isn’t proof of my worth.”

Think of it like debugging your brain. You wouldn’t blame your laptop when the Wi-Fi cuts out. You’d reset the router. Same principle here: reset the thought pattern.

4. Lean on the PERMA Model

When the job search feels all-consuming, it’s easy to forget that you’re more than your inbox refresh button. That’s where Psychologist Martin Seligman’s PERMA model reminds us to nurture ourselves, giving our passions and relationships attention, rather than letting the buzzing stress of our job search take over.

P – Positive Emotions: Savor small joys. Listen to that ridiculous podcast. Celebrate your latte art masterpiece.
E – Engagement: Get lost in something that lights you up — gardening, gaming, or a course you’ve been curious about.
R – Relationships: Connect with friends, mentors, or peers who remind you you’re more than your resume.
M – Meaning: Volunteer, mentor, or pour into something bigger than yourself.
A – Achievement: Celebrate small wins—finishing an application, landing an interview, or even just getting through the week intact.

Your worth isn’t defined by one unanswered email. By investing in the areas highlighted in the PERMA model, you start showing up for yourself by noticing and celebrating the small wins and by taking stock of what you have. When resilience for the persistence required for the job search is running on empty, recognizing these things through the PERMA model can sometimes help take the edge off on the days when you have nothing left to give and desperately need perspective to keep you going. Rather than sitting in anxiety, refreshing your inbox, and screaming at your laptop.

Pie chart consisting of multiple concentric yellow circles like an archery target with a black bullseye. It is divided into areas labeled: Relationships, Engagement, Meaning, Achievement, and Positive Emotion to show how we can find grounding. — Model recreation by Melissa Doman LLC

5. Define and Protect Your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™

Your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™ are the practices you commit to because they keep you steady, focused, and fueled up. Not because someone on Instagram said you should do them, but because they’re unique to you, they shift over time, and are the backbone of how you show up for yourself and for others.

Think of your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™ as accountability survival tools, not luxuries. Just like an organization can’t run on burnout, neither can you. These practices are how you sustain the long game without ghosting, rejection, or stress hollowing you out.

This is one of my core frameworks for The Workplace Mental Health Method™, and here’s the truth: if you don’t define non-negotiables for your mental health, protect them, and practice them consistently, you put yourself at risk for burnout in the job search process, especially if you get ghosted repetitively.

Take time to ask yourself what your non-negotiables might include. Remember, it’s a practice, so there might be trial and error involved as you discover your non-negotiables and keep them in place:

Acknowledge: Understand the importance of these Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™️ in your own life.
Pick: Ask yourself what genuinely helps you feel grounded (not what the wellness industry prescribes).
Decide: Choose 2–3 things that feel realistic in your daily or weekly rhythm.
Be: Protect them like meetings that can’t be canceled.
Share: Share them with others. When you do, it encourages you and those around you to honor these moments and to invest in them too.

A graphic, visual, slide divided into two sections that demonstrates a step-by-step breakdown of how to set up non-negotiables for yourself based on the framework discussed above. — Framework by Melissa Doman | The Workplace Mental Health Method™

Recruiters, Ghosting Reflects Badly on Your Team and Company

Recruiters, ghosting isn’t just bad manners. It’s a business practice that reflects poorly on your company and creates unhealthy circumstances for those in the job search process. In fact, 49% of job seekers working in in-demand fields say they’ve turned down an offer because of a bad recruitment experience.

I know you have a ton on your plate, I even made sure to say that at the beginning of this article. But overwhelm doesn't absolve you or your organization of its basic responsibilities to get back to candidates, even if through automation.

The current unstable labor market it doesn’t offer any certainty. If your team is ready to hire, it means your company needs to be prepared for the investment of time and effort that makes up the recruitment process. And doing it, right.

Here are some small steps that can change the candidate experience:

When possible, add a personalized note in a rejection email (it makes a difference): Offering some context can give more relief than you realize, and in some cases, give a candidate something constructive to work on for their next interview.
Set and commit to clear timelines to stave off any confusion: When you let candidates know of next steps or application status, you set a standard for your organization while putting the potential candidate at ease. If you’re behind on that follow-up email, let them know. It takes less than a minute and can create a lasting helpful impact.
Normalize feedback as development, not as risk: Hiring managers should reach out to the Legal department in their own organization to understand parameters for what they can and cannot disclose in a follow-up email. Clarity in communication across the board is a critical part of the process for everyone involved.

Respect isn’t just kindness — it’s strategy. Candidates remember how you treated them, even if they don’t get the job. And it speaks volumes about your company culture and work environment.

Preventing the Negative Impact on Mental Health when Ghosting Happens During the Job Hunt

Ghosting in hiring is a symptom of overloaded systems, not cruel intent. But the silence cuts deep.

Job seekers: protect your mental well-being with strategies like Circles of Control, reframing ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts), and honoring your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™.
Recruiters: remember, courtesy is free — and it builds trust in your employer brand.

Because at the end of the day, it's just not about filling job roles. It's about creating psychological safety, workplace culture, building relationships - and leading with respect. Even when the answer is no.

Every silence tells a story — and candidates remember it. Want to learn how to consider candidate mental health in your hiring practices? The Workplace Mental Health Method™ helps companies replace ghosting with intentional communication practices that strengthen trust, respect, and employer brand. Ready for help? Let’s talk.

How to Protect Your Mental Health when Employers Ghost during the Job Search