An Asian man with short, dark hair sits at a laptop with his hand on his head signaling distress. He is wearing glasses and a khaki shirt. The background is blurred, but you can see some shelving behind him. — Stock Photo by Edward Jenner

Imagine prepping for your job interview like you’re preparing for a marathon — researching the company, rehearsing answers, ironing your “please-hire-me” shirt. You show up, give it your all, send a thoughtful, personalized thank-you note…and then, nothing but eerie silence.

If you’ve been through this, you’ve been ghosted in a hiring process. While the word “ghosting” may conjure up dating apps or October chills, it’s unfortunately become an all-too-common part of the hiring process today.

On one side of the table, recruiters and employers are juggling overflowing inboxes, legal concerns, and internal bottlenecks.
On the other hand, candidates are left with the emotional whiplash of being ignored after investing so much time in cover letters, applications, and interview rounds.

There are deeper reasons why ghosting happens in the job hunting process, and we need to talk about that. Let’s break down why employer ghosting happens during the job search and how applicants can protect their mental health when/if ghosting happens. And, if you’re on a hiring team, we’ll also look at ways to better communicate with candidates — not only to put them at ease in the hiring process — but to also show your organization’s attention to the impact of the job application impact on mental health.

Why Ghosting Has Become So Common in this Job Market

To be clear: most recruiters or hiring managers don’t aim to ruin a job seeker’s day. Many have to balance being a talent scout, negotiator, and career counselor, while also managing the hiring process and pressure from their companies.

Ghosting during the process isn’t cool, but it does happen and often stems from process-related, logistical, or even structurally-related challenges. Here are some common challenges that lead to ghosting in the hiring process:

Volume overload: A single role can bring in hundreds or even thousands of applicants, especially with the influx of AI-generated resumes, but the company’s recruitment process might be disorganized and at capacity. The team (or single recruiter) may be overwhelmed with the response, so they drop the ball.
Fear of saying the wrong thing: Some companies avoid rejections altogether, whether they’re confrontation avoidant or worried that wording could trigger complaints or legal issues.
Human bottlenecks: Recruiters might be juggling several applicants and open roles, managing the interview process, handling requests from several higher-ups, dealing with delayed feedback from hiring managers, or navigating slow approval processes.
Needs change: At any point during the hiring process, a company might undergo budget cuts or hiring freezes, and that role is now no longer available.

These are real challenges. But here’s the truth: silence sends a message too. And for candidates, that message is often taken as, “You don’t matter.”

While it’s helpful to understand why ghosting happens in the job search process, it doesn’t change the negative mental health impact on candidates.

A blonde woman sits at a wooden table with her hands in her hair in front of her laptop. Her cellphone is also on the table. She is wearing a black shirt with a white button down shirt as a layer. — Stock Photo by Yan Krukau

The Mental Health Impact on Job Seekers

Job hunting already ranks as one of life’s most stressful experiences. Research shows that 72% of U.S. job seekers find that the employment process negatively impacts their mental health. That’s before you add the impact of ghosting.

It probably won’t surprise you that ghosting makes the job search process even more stressful. Here’s why:

It shakes self-efficacy: The brain interprets being ghosted as a ‘failure’, undermining your sense of competence and leaving you second-guessing your skills.
It dents self-esteem: Silence feels personal, even when it’s systemic. The brain fills in the blanks with self-blame. You might think, “I must not be good enough,” when in reality, you were one of dozens or hundreds who never heard back.
It disrupts financial and emotional stability: Each unanswered application prolongs uncertainty around income, benefits, and security. Lack of clarity brings more stress when planning your own goals.

Psychologists note that uncertainty — like waiting to hear back after a first or second round interview — is a dominant trigger for stress. Research from UC Davis suggests that ambiguous or unclear results can increase anxiety over time. What starts as feelings of anticipation to hear back about a job opportunity turns into a longer feeling of uncertainty. We feel more vulnerable as time goes on, which then alerts our natural instincts to search for danger or risk. The more time passes, the longer we’re left in this feeling, which instigates stress and wears down our own self-confidence.

Five Ways to Manage the Mental Health Impact of Ghosting

If you’ve been ghosted in the job search process by a company, here’s your reminder: you are not the problem. Finding and securing a job, especially in today’s job market, is hyper-competitive. These strategies can help you stay grounded through your job search, reminding you of what you can control with what you’re given:

1. Build Self-Advocacy Muscles

A constructive follow-up email might look like:

“Hi [Recruiter’s Name], I wanted to follow up on our recent interview. If I’m not moving forward, I’d appreciate clarity for my own growth. I also encourage your team to consider structured updates for candidates — communication makes a big difference.”

Professional, respectful, and pointing out the behavior. That’s Radical Candor in action!

2. Use Circles of Control, Influence, and Concern™

When ghosting happens, it’s tempting to spiral into “what-if” land:

“What if I bombed that question?”
“What if my thank-you wasn’t good enough?”
“What if I’m unemployable forever?”

Deep breath. This is where Stephen Covey’s classic Circles of Control framework from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People can save your sanity.

Circles of Control:

Inner Circle (Control): Your resume, cover letter, interview prep, and follow-up emails.
Middle Circle (Influence): Your job-search strategy, networking conversations, gentle recruiter nudges, and skill-building that boost your profile.
Outer Circle (No Control): Whether a company replies, an internal budget freeze, or the great mystery of AI resume filters.

Spend your energy where it matters most. If it’s in your circle of control or influence, act on it. If it’s outside of that, you have to develop the practice of letting it go. Otherwise, you’re burning emotional fuel on things you literally cannot change.

Recreation of the Circles of Control by Steven Covey. The innermost circle is light yellow, the middle is white, and the outermost is a brighter yellow. All text is in black: All text is in black for Circle of Control, Influence and Concern. — Model recreation by Melissa Doman LLC

3. Challenge ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Cartoon of an anthropomorphic heart pointing to a pile of green “good” rocks saying “Brain, Look!” and trying to get the anthropomorphic brain’s attention as it uses a magnifying glass to focus on a rock labeled “Bad” on the bad. — Cartoon by The Awkward Yeti

Ghosting has a way of waking up your brain’s meanest roommate. You know that one: the inner critic whispering, “You must have failed” or “You’ll never get a job.”

Psychologists call these ANTs or Automatic Negative Thoughts. Left unchecked, they crawl all over your confidence.

The trick? Pivot the ANT with a reframe:

ANT: “I’m not good enough.”
Reframe: “Hiring processes are inconsistent — this isn’t proof of my worth.”

Think of it like debugging your brain. You wouldn’t blame your laptop when the Wi-Fi cuts out. You’d reset the router. Same principle here: reset the thought pattern.

4. Lean on the PERMA Model

When the job search feels all-consuming, it’s easy to forget that you’re more than your inbox refresh button. That’s where Psychologist Martin Seligman’s PERMA model reminds us to nurture ourselves, giving our passions and relationships attention, rather than letting the buzzing stress of our job search take over.

P – Positive Emotions: Savor small joys. Listen to that ridiculous podcast. Celebrate your latte art masterpiece.
E – Engagement: Get lost in something that lights you up — gardening, gaming, or a course you’ve been curious about.
R – Relationships: Connect with friends, mentors, or peers who remind you you’re more than your resume.
M – Meaning: Volunteer, mentor, or pour into something bigger than yourself.
A – Achievement: Celebrate small wins—finishing an application, landing an interview, or even just getting through the week intact.

Your worth isn’t defined by one unanswered email. By investing in the areas highlighted in the PERMA model, you start showing up for yourself by noticing and celebrating the small wins and by taking stock of what you have. When resilience for the persistence required for the job search is running on empty, recognizing these things through the PERMA model can sometimes help take the edge off on the days when you have nothing left to give and desperately need perspective to keep you going. Rather than sitting in anxiety, refreshing your inbox, and screaming at your laptop.

Pie chart consisting of multiple concentric yellow circles like an archery target with a black bullseye. It is divided into areas labeled: Relationships, Engagement, Meaning, Achievement, and Positive Emotion to show how we can find grounding. — Model recreation by Melissa Doman LLC

5. Define and Protect Your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™

Think of your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™ as accountability survival tools, not luxuries. Just like an organization can’t run on burnout, neither can you. These practices are how you sustain the long game without ghosting, rejection, or stress hollowing you out.

Your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™ are the practices you commit to because they keep you steady, focused, and fueled up. Not because someone on Instagram said you should do them, but because they’re unique to you, they shift over time, and are the backbone of how you show up for yourself and for others.

This is one of my core frameworks, and here’s the non-negotiable truth: if you don’t define non-negotiables for your mental health, protect them, and practice them consistently, you put yourself at risk for burnout. Take time to ask yourself what your non-negotiables might include. Remember, it’s a practice, so there might be trial and error involved as you discover your non-negotiables and keep them in place:

Acknowledge: Understand the importance of these Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™️ in your own life.
Pick: Ask yourself what genuinely helps you feel grounded (not what the wellness industry prescribes).
Decide: Choose 2–3 things that feel realistic in your daily or weekly rhythm.
Be: Protect them like meetings that can’t be canceled.
Share: Share them with others. When you do, it encourages you and those around you to honor these moments and to invest in them too.

A graphic, visual, slide divided into two sections that demonstrates a step-by-step breakdown of how to set up non-negotiables for yourself based on the framework discussed above. — Framework by Melissa Doman | The Workplace Mental Health Method™

Recruiters, Ghosting Reflects Badly on Your Team and Company

Recruiters, ghosting isn’t just bad manners. It’s a business practice that reflects poorly on your company and creates unhealthy circumstances for those in the job search process. In fact, 49% of job seekers working in in-demand fields say they’ve turned down an offer because of a bad recruitment experience.

Job hunting is stressful, and the current unstable labor market we’re in doesn’t offer much certainty. If your team is ready to hire, it means your company is prepared for the investment of time and effort that makes up the recruitment process. And doing it, right.

Here are some small steps that can transform the candidate experience:

Add a personalized note in a rejection email (it makes a huge difference!): offering some context or positive feedback can put the candidate at ease and give them something great to work on for their next interview.
Setting and committing to clear timelines can clear up confusion: when you let candidates know of next steps or application status, you set a standard for your organization while putting the potential hire at ease. If you’re behind on that follow-up email, let them know. It takes two seconds and can put someone at ease.
Normalize feedback as development, not risk: Hiring managers should reach out to legal to understand parameters for what they can disclose in a follow-up email. Clarity in communication across the board will put people more at ease.

Respect isn’t just kindness — it’s also strategy. Candidates remember how you treated them, even if they don’t get the job. And it speaks volumes about your company culture and work environment.

Preventing the Negative Impact on Mental Health when Ghosting Happens During the Job Hunt

Ghosting in hiring is a symptom of overloaded systems, not cruel intent. But the silence cuts deep.

Job seekers: protect your mental well-being with strategies like Circles of Control, reframing ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts), and honoring your Mental Wellbeing Non-Negotiables™.
Recruiters: remember, courtesy is free — and it builds trust in your employer brand.

Because at the end of the day, we’re not just filling positions. We’re building relationships. And relationships start with respect — even when the answer is no.

Every silence tells a story — and candidates remember it. Want to learn how to consider candidate mental health in your hiring practices? The Workplace Mental Health Method™ helps companies replace ghosting with intentional communication practices that strengthen trust, respect, and employer brand. Ready for help? Let’s talk!

How to Protect Your Mental Health when Employers Ghost during the Job Search